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Dear Mom who is having a hard day,

Suddenly Mother’s Day isn’t what you had imagined.

You knew Mother’s Day was hard for others, but somehow you imagined your own Mother’s Day would be different.  Yet, here you sit wishing there was more joy in the day then there actually is.  You want to enjoy it, and you do- to an extent, but something is missing inside.  The rest of that joy you had imagined this day would hold.

Maybe you’ve lost your mother.

This day brings up so many memories.  It’s a bitter sweet type of day.  You keep thinking of the things you could have done differently, the words you should have said, the times you planned on something but didn’t do it.  You have regret, or maybe just sorrow of loss.  You know that your mom or grandma is in a better place, and that’s a good thing.  But…. you still miss her.  You miss what you had.  You miss what you WISHED you had.

Choose this day to focus on the blessings of their life.  Choose this day to focus on the great and positive lessons your learned from them.  How God used them in your life to make you who you are.  And God doesn’t make mistakes.

Maybe you have children in heaven, and you thought you would beat them there.

The loss of a child is like a mac truck.  Hits you in the gut in a powerful way and leaves a lasting mark.  Whether you knew it was coming or it was a total surprise.  Whether your child was in the womb or living here for years.  When that day comes and you let go of your child into the arms of Jesus, it marks you.  It transforms you.  You are not the same.  Even if you have come to a place of peace about it, somehow Mother’s Day brings it right back to the surface.

The sovereignty of God is hard at these times.  We have to pull ourselves back from our emotions and remember that GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES.  He can’t.  He’s God.  So our loss is not a mistake.  It is part of journey in this fallen world.  A journey towards deeper meaning and deeper purpose in our life.  That beyond the things in front of our eyes, and held in our hands, is a purpose that is greater and deeper.  We must look hard for it sometimes.  But this is KNOW.  GOD IS FAITHFUL.  He will show you purpose if you ask to find it.

Maybe you’ve adopted a child with a broken heart from a broken past, and that child somehow makes this day less than enjoyable.

Adoption is a whole giant bag of new emotions. But let’s cut to the chase here.  Any holiday that honors someone (Mother’s Day, Birthdays, graduation) are days that draw attention to our love and gratitude for that person.  Many adopted children can not handle such direct love.  Their hearts are immature and they can handle “side ways love” not direct love.  You can praise them for a task, or talk about them positively to another person when you know they are listening.  BUT…. direct love and gratitude towards one person is powerful and meaningful and they just can’t handle it.  So chances are they sabotage the day, or the days leading up to it.  They implode, or are just off the handle, they melt down, or shoot dagger eyes at you.  In the end, Mother, take comfort in this— they never send such chaos and negativity toward the clerk at the grocery store— just you.  They know deep down that you love them, they know it, and they have such a hard time accepting it.  It’s overwhelming to them- so they retaliate.  Remember this, Mother of this child, your great love for this child while they don’t show it back, is just like God’s love for us.  While were still sinners Christ died for us so we could know the greatness of His love.  While we were the prodigal son, He welcomed us so that we could know that no sin was too big to make Him stop loving us. While we were the woman caught in adultery, He drew in the sand to take peoples eyes off of us so we could feel less shame.

And so you are to this child.  You are the hands and feet of Jesus.  Press on sweet momma, press on.  Your child is receiving the love of God through you.  It’s a lot to swallow, but eventually they will.  Little by little.

I get it. I’ve been there.  I have many Mother’s Days, and other holidays, just simply fall short.

While there are many layers to each- Perspective is KEY.  Choosing to look at each situation from a new perspective and flip your whole world upside down.  And then, on this Mother’s Day, joy will be within your grasp instead of out of your reach.

Blessing to you dear Mom who is having a hard day.

I pray your eyes see new things today and every day forward.

Love,

Jill


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