As our daughter is in the hospital fighting for life, another fight remains on the home-front. Hard times bring emotions to the surface, and our house is no exception. Many of our children struggle with self-worth. These feelings are bubbling to the top of life right now, as our kids wrestle with life and the greater purpose they have in it. As a child who is adopted, they begin to believe lies about themselves. Then again, don’t we all? This letter, is to my son, who believes too many lies about himself that he doesn’t see clearly who God made him to be. I share it with you, so that if you too struggle with the same feelings, you can pass it on. Share it with your child, your friend, or maybe just your own heart…………
I want to tell you about a journey. A journey of mine.
When I was young, I loved those that loved me. I loved things that were good and nice, and didn’t like things that were bad. But then, God changed my heart and sent me on a journey of how to love not based on actions.
I was a journey, at first, that I didn’t know I was on. This journey was going to turn my world upside down.
In order to reach my destination, my heart had to change.
Do you know? I’ve loved you since before I knew you, because it was then that I began to think about the day you would be mine. So in my heart and mind, I grew a love for you through HOPE and EXPECTATION.
I had no idea that I could love anything BEFORE I even knew it. That’s was God’s plan. To teach me that.
Lessons from God are never just for us, they are meant to be shared.
This is how my journey of love for you began.
To love in HOPE of that which is to come. Before I even met you, I grew in love for you. This was a journey for my own heart.
It’s a miracle when you think about it. That everything else I must love AFTER having it, yet somehow God can build love inside of my heart for you before you were mine.
So it began, before you were born. God made you for this life you have. God made you for this family. After all these years, I still believe that God does NOT make mistakes.
Oh, I know there’s a part of your heart that doesn’t believe that. Somewhere over the years you believed a lie. A lie that says, “if this …….. was different in my life, then my life would be better”. Oh, Son, how I wish I could tell you 1,000 times – “That’s a lie!!!” It’s not true.
Actually, I have told you. I’ve told you so many different ways, but you can’t hear me.
That’s your journey. A journey of love and acceptance.
Did you know that when I hold you to a higher standard, when I challenge your choices, when I am frustrated that you settle for less— it’s because I love you.
When you love someone, you want the very best for them and nothing less.
I still love you when you make mistakes. It’s not your good behavior that makes me love you. When God made me your mom, He changed that about me.
It was a journey of my own heart – to change my heart and yours.
Accepting love is a journey.
Believing that love is an even harder journey.
First, you must accept it as a truth that doesn’t change with circumstance. Then you must believe that it is even true for YOU. No matter what you do or don’t do, I love you. You are worthy to be loved.
My son, you are not a mistake. That’s a lie that you believed over the years when you looked at your actions and the trouble you got in. You believed they defined you. They do not! God made you, and every living thing on earth. I know this fact to be true. I also know that it is IMPOSSIBLE for God to make mistakes. That means, my son, that you are not a mistake.
God made you on purpose for a purpose. He does that with everyone.
Did you know that my journey had the same lie hiding in it?
Yes, once I believed, too, that my choices and mistakes defined me. That if I was better, people would love me more. God changed that in me when He made me your mother.
Motherhood is a journey of changing my own heart for that sake of changes yours too.
I know that I am human, I make mistakes. I can’t ever be perfect. That doesn’t change my love for you. It actually helps me love you more. I know that no one is perfect, and I don’t expect you to be. I love you for who you are. When I am frustrated with you, it is because I want the very best for you. I don’t want to settle for less.
How many great people do we admire for overcoming challenges in their lives?
Are you any different?
Part of overcoming your life challenges is believing that you are worth more than you believe. That the worth of your amazing life is not based on your actions, but on who God made you to be.
Once you grab hold of that, your amazing journey begins!!!
What would happen if you believed that?
The greatest of all sunsets.
The most amazing display of lightning and thunder.
The vast expanse of the stars in the sky.
The most powerful waterfall raging over a mountain.
None of these compare to how wonderfully you are made. None. You were made for a purpose far greater than any of those things.
You were created on purpose and for a purpose.
You are loved.
I love you more than you believe, and even more than I am capable of saying to you.
If I told you 100 times, you might still not believe me, but I promise to you that I do love you!
When you accept and believe that love, your journey will make a huge turn and begin on a new strong path. You will gain power. The power to change other people’s lives, just like yours was changed.
Your journey can transform another’s journey. How amazing is that? How do I know? Because that’s how God changed me, when He made me your mom.
I love you, Mom